he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize