the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
