So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Come on in and take your pants off
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