i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
