It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
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I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
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Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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