Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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