Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
