the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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