Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
