Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
