they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
