They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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