didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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