so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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