Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
