Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you