Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
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get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
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I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?