please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
