I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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