someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize