Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
