she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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