I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
