best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
