You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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