I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
