I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
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