haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
