It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
