everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
