I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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