Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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