The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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