if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Randomize
