I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
