i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
