so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You've changed since you got that strap on
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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