And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
