wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
