Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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