Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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