can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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