just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
