Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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