it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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