forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
