she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
MIDGETS
????
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
