There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i love accidental penises.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
