It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
