I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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