new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
