it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
