it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
