plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize