her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
