so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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