I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize