I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
