I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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