I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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