Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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