i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize