summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
